Sometimes, when we did open our mouths for each other it was not for conversation but for the single purpose of giving pleasure and it was entirely a two-way street for us at all times. She complained to me that her husband was lacking in such skills and that he only wanted to sodomize her backside looking into the bathroom mirror like they were strangers in a strange place. He made her wear lots of mascara and loved to make her cry so it would run down her face making her look like a sad clown when he was deep inside her private place. It was sort of silly but it seemed to work for him and in normal situations he was often unable to raise a stand for expected insertion. She knew he was unhappy with his inability to do things the standard way and he resented the fact that as his wife she knew all his dirty secrets including his attraction to young muscular men with assertive attitudes.After that initial flurry of frenzied love-making, poor Princess settled into a housewife routine. All my joy had gone out of me like the lights on a Christmas tree during a power outage. I couldn’t look him in the face. I just couldn’t do it. He said ‘Michel, let me take you home.’ I followed him numbly to my car and he drove me back to my house. His radio crackled with news of this and that, but I didn’t hear it. I didn’t hear the sound of my engine or the other cars driving by. All I could hear was her voice telling me that she would see me after work. At one point she hesitated and I thought she was going to tell me that she loved me. She must have felt that it wasn’t right yet because she didn’t. She was always afraid to let herself be happy with me. Afraid that I wasn’t who I seemed to be. She was afraid to be hurt again. I couldn’t blame her. I started to cry again when I realized all the time we had lost. The first day she was truly mine she became lost to me forever. I cried like I had never cried before. Tears streamed down my face in compliment to the rain outside. .
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